Top 10 Lies Told by Graduate Students

I'm really freaking out about my thesis and need to try to be at least a little bit productive today, so here is something that other people have to say about the horrors of graduate school. (Note: I've told No. 4 the most and people are always telling me No. 9, which I can only assume means I must be a really good writer.)

(taken from the Harvard Crimson)

http://www.english.uga.edu/~clandrum/example_html/joke.ex2.html

10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
3. The department is giving me so much support.
2. My job prospects look really good.
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.

THESIS PROGRESS: 9 of 40 pages written*
*That's only for chapter 3, the full thesis is much longer.

I

Procrastination Station

5 Ways to procrastinate when you have escaped the Internet and handcuffed yourself to a Starbuck’s table:

1. Eavesdrop on the baristas’ conversation (Right now they are talking about how the song “Hallelujah” comes from the movie Shrek. It doesn’t, but it was featured on the soundtrack.)

2. Stare at coffee mugs. Wish wasn't unemployed & had $$ for frivolous purchases (Clearly $9 coffee mugs are frivolous, whereas $5 coffees in disposable cups are not)

3. Listen to the music. Really listen. Ponder which is favorite version of the song “Hallelujah”: Jeff Buckley, Rufus Wainwright or the dumb kid who covered it on American Idol?

4. Turn off cell phone so as not to be distracted

5. Write this blog

THESIS PROGRESS: 6.5 of 40 pages written*
*That's only for chapter 3, the full thesis is much longer.