VIEW FROM THE IVORY TOWER: my thesis just killed a tree

Here is a paper draft of my thesis as seen on a background of Denny's Formica. Yes, now both my thesis and my waistline are measured in inches, and unfortunately, both of them are rapidly growing. Would you like a Moon's Over My Hammy with that rambling lit review? Yes, yes I would!

(Photo by me and my camera phone)

Baggage Claim

The impromptu trip to visit my parents was followed by a slightly insane "study retreat" to the next college town over.

Total time spent running away = 5 days

Now, I am back home. Today, I collect the baggage that I tried to discard at various spots around the nation. Today I claim it as mine. Today, I unpack it and one by one fix it all. Today, I take the next steps to finish my thesis

Note: I took this photo from my camera phone while I was traveling this weekend.

PANIC AT THE THESIS!

My thesis task for the week is to input my adviser's corrections. I have the first half. But where are the rest? The search begins...

3 am: Frantically tear through everything I own
3:30 am: Try to remember the Catholic saint of lost things.
3:31 am: Fail. Continue searching without the aide of a supernatural deity.
4 am: Give up for the night and refuse to set the alarm out of a sense of defeat.
Noon: Expand search to places the corrections can't possibly be.
12:15 pm: Verify that corrections are NOT in underwear drawer, sock drawer, car glove compartment, console, or trunk. Nor are they under bed (roommate lifted it for me).
2:30 pm: Am reduced to flipping through papers I've already searched. The corrections continue to not be in said papers.
Now: Heart attacking-inducing panic and dread combined with confusion as to next step.

Please send me your suggestions. I am desperate. Do I fess up? Do I do the corrections without his advice? Do I flee the country? Continue searching? Do I tell my professor that if the White House cannot help but lose their most important papers, how should I, a mere graduate student with no political office, be expected to do any better?

After the clock has stopped

No, it's not finished yet.

I managed to stay productive until 5 a.m., after which point I was just sleeping sitting up. So I allowed myself to go to bed a couple hours. I set three alarms, slept for three hours and pushed snooze for two hours more (to the certain chagrin of my roommates). I've been working all day, but to no avail. On the bright side, the 10-minute thing has been a lifesaver.

I apologize if this blog is not up to my normal level of witty banter, but I actually am more concerned about my thesis than blogging today.

All-night update

It's 1 a.m. I'm sipping vanilla vodka & Diet Coke to both rev me up and calm me down. I'm also listening to RJD2 (a strong candidate for future Study Anthem status) to get me in a pounding yet chill rhythm. I don't know if this means I am on or off track. The fact that I'm writing this and not the other thing might (or might not*) be a bad sign.

*In my pre-blog era, whenever I got stuck writing I would look at pictures of my exes on MySpace. It was quite depressing. So sharing my feelings through blog, though not productive, can't be any worse than retroactive stalking.

All-nighter!

Yep, that's the only way i can get through this chapter, which is due TOMORROW. Oh dear. Wish me luck, friends. I'll let you know how it all turns out sometime tomorrow.

Incognito Part II

I’m no longer anonymous at the local Starbucks. Nobody likes the weird guy who spends hours at “his” table, and if I keep a regular schedule, I risk "blowing my cover" as the top-secret writer of this blog. So today I embarked upon a journey to one of the seven other Starbucks that are in a 5-mile radius of my house.

**Update on the adventure of an exotic, new Starbucks coming soon.**

THESIS PROGRESS: 17.5 of 40 pages written*
*That's only for chapter 3, the full thesis is much longer.

A Muffin for Your Thoughts

I'm at a coffee shop (independent!) and drinking real coffee (not crap ending in the phrase -ppuccino) from a real glass mug. I just ate a muffin that I knew I shouldn't eat. But it's 1:30 in the morning. I'm actually making thesis progress and I convinced myself it was "brain food" instead of "go straight to my thighs" food.

Soon there is nothing left of the muffin except the burnt part (the downside of buying local) and I start thinking that maybe the coffee was all I really needed to power my brain after all. And as I wonder whether or not I will fit in a graduation gown (those damn unforgiving, formless, black smocks), I realize that I am eating the burnt parts! What is wrong with me?

THESIS PROGRESS: 8.05 of 40 pages written*
*That's only for chapter 3, the full thesis is much longer.