LIFE AFTER THESIS: working stiff?

For the first time in maybe a month, I set my alarm clock. I also got out of bed before 9 a.m. And I did all the things that I used to do in the morning when I lived my old life (shower, dress, put on deodorant, etc.). Even though I'm more or less productive as a thesis writer, there is something to be said about making oneself look presentable. It just feels more productive. Anyway, the point of this makeover was not a part of my newest psychological trick to be productive; it was for a job interview. Today, I peeked back into the "real world," if only for two hours.

There is something comforting about going to an office, like a freed prisoner returning to the safety of his old cell. And if I was looking to settle down, said job would be perfect (great salary, benefits, steady, etc..). But it is neither exciting nor soul-nourishing, and I probably will turn it down. After suffering through my thesis for so long, I need to do something amazing. I can't sacrifice myself to the gods of commerce yet. Or can I?

Parabolic Compass by Leonardo Da Vinci

What's worse than a thesis?

TAXES! Of course, I've put them off until tonight. But I had a good excuse: I was waiting to finish my thesis. But here it is April 14, and no thesis and no taxes. By tomorrow, I'll have one of the two completed. Can you guess which one?

NOTE: This painting by Jose de Ribera represents the way I feel about taxes.

READERS SPEAK: When I grow up....

So there ya have it, folks. My blog audience is a bunch of people with no economic sense whatsoever. (Except for the one person who checked "stockbroker," and I imagine they did it as a joke.) At least we can be poor together. I would say we should all meet for coffee and discuss our grand plans to be artists, writers and professors, but with our future in store we better save the $2.99.

When I grow up I want to be a(n)

publicist (with good teeth) 1 (7%)
stockbroker (with slick hair) 1 (7%)
artist/musician/writer (with parents' basement) 3 (23%)
college professor (with summers off) 8 (61%)

Votes so far: 13

Playboy Supports Higher Education

Turns out I was wrong to be disparaged when the Playboy Editor told me that graduate degrees were a waste of time. He must have just been "testing me" because the highly distinguished publication clearly values all pursuits of the student body. The proof is in this video blog:

I HATE DIABLO CODY

No, I am not justified in hating her. It is purely spite and jealousy. But as I sit here, forcing myself to do something I don't want to do (my thesis), so that I can get a degree in something that the Editorial Director of Playboy told me to my face will NOT forward my career, I can't help but think that there is a new law for aspiring intellectuals:

master's degree = bad career choice
stripper = good career choice

Oh why oh why did I pick the wrong one? Why did my dad push me towards higher education, when I could have sold my body to achieve my dreams?

Ms. Stripper Pen Name is doing what she loves, while my career lies fallow. And her success story really pisses me off -- it tells the world once again that in order for women to be recognized, they have to use their sexuality. Yes, Cody is smart, talented and hardworking in her own right. And Juno was a great movie. But does that not make her situation all the worse? If smart, talented, hardworking and funny women cannot have writing careers without showing skin, then what is left for the rest of us?

I found this photo on her myspace. Just look at her with that retro tattoo, milky cleavage and smug expression. What a bitch.