Things Left Behind

Taking a break from writing, I called a former colleague to chat. Among other flashes of juicy gossip, she told me that the company just hired my replacement and gave my coveted promotion to somebody else. Up until that point, I had been too consumed with the elation of quitting my job and the pressure of finishing my thesis to think of the sacrifices I made in order to graduate. Now, a wave of emotion hit me in the stomach. It wasn't sadness but loss, if that can be a feeling.

Though I certainly do not regret my decision, it's a reminder that whenever something is gained, something else disappears. I won't think about the apparent illogic of departing from my true chosen career path in order to gain a sheet of paper that says I'm qualified to do something I no longer really want to do*. Since it's impossible to un-jump when you're already falling, the best way I can honor my former life is to get my sad self back to work.

*Due to anonyminty, I cannot reveal my degree nor my careerer path, but they do both tie together, just not exactly. That is to say, while my degree doesn't perfectly match my career, it's not a complete waste of time.

THESIS PROGRESS: 12 of 40 pages written*
*That's only for chapter 3, the full thesis is much longer.

A Muffin for Your Thoughts

I'm at a coffee shop (independent!) and drinking real coffee (not crap ending in the phrase -ppuccino) from a real glass mug. I just ate a muffin that I knew I shouldn't eat. But it's 1:30 in the morning. I'm actually making thesis progress and I convinced myself it was "brain food" instead of "go straight to my thighs" food.

Soon there is nothing left of the muffin except the burnt part (the downside of buying local) and I start thinking that maybe the coffee was all I really needed to power my brain after all. And as I wonder whether or not I will fit in a graduation gown (those damn unforgiving, formless, black smocks), I realize that I am eating the burnt parts! What is wrong with me?

THESIS PROGRESS: 8.05 of 40 pages written*
*That's only for chapter 3, the full thesis is much longer.

Methods in procrastination: Precise Calorie Counting

According to the Chick-fil-A.com meal calculator my lunch was as follows:

• Chicken Sandwich ---------------------- 410 calories
• Waffle Fries (medium) ----------------- 350 calories
• Polynesian Sauce (2 oz) ----------------220 calories
• Sweetened Ice Tea (small) ------------- 1oo calories

Grand Total = 1080 calories

This is horrific! I am shocked and distressed by both the amount of crap I put in my body and by the amount of time I wasted going to their dumb web site, typing it all in and then reproducing it here. My entire purpose of eating fast food was to save time, and somehow I failed at doing that. Well, I guess this goes to show that I need to leave the university food court and find a study spot that doesn't have an internet connection.