Sunday, March 16, 2008

Things Left Behind

Taking a break from writing, I called a former colleague to chat. Among other flashes of juicy gossip, she told me that the company just hired my replacement and gave my coveted promotion to somebody else. Up until that point, I had been too consumed with the elation of quitting my job and the pressure of finishing my thesis to think of the sacrifices I made in order to graduate. Now, a wave of emotion hit me in the stomach. It wasn't sadness but loss, if that can be a feeling.

Though I certainly do not regret my decision, it's a reminder that whenever something is gained, something else disappears. I won't think about the apparent illogic of departing from my true chosen career path in order to gain a sheet of paper that says I'm qualified to do something I no longer really want to do*. Since it's impossible to un-jump when you're already falling, the best way I can honor my former life is to get my sad self back to work.

*Due to anonyminty, I cannot reveal my degree nor my careerer path, but they do both tie together, just not exactly. That is to say, while my degree doesn't perfectly match my career, it's not a complete waste of time.

THESIS PROGRESS: 12 of 40 pages written*
*That's only for chapter 3, the full thesis is much longer.

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