VIEW FROM THE IVORY TOWER: my thesis just killed a tree

Here is a paper draft of my thesis as seen on a background of Denny's Formica. Yes, now both my thesis and my waistline are measured in inches, and unfortunately, both of them are rapidly growing. Would you like a Moon's Over My Hammy with that rambling lit review? Yes, yes I would!

(Photo by me and my camera phone)

VIEW FROM THE IVORY TOWER: after-hours study spot

When the task of writing a thesis grows from a discrete event into a lifestyle, the socially inclined grad student must adjust his or her habits to accommodate this burden. Sometimes that involves taking your laptop to the bar. Ironically, I found it no less distracting than the oh-so-studious coffee shop. And as an added bonus, the alcohol takes the edge off the academic anxiety. One word of advice: Bar studying should only be done Sunday thru Tuesday nights so as not to disturb the bar-goers who actually have lives and want to have fun.

PS. I don't care how starving a student you are; tip your barstaff!

VIEW FROM THE IVORY TOWER: Industrial Water Fountain

No witty banter around the water cooler for you, my friend. (Of course, ya can't chat about last night's American Idol gossip when you're too busy studying to watch TV. So think of it as sweet release from your social ineptitude.) Nope, you get the industrial water fountain; it's your share of Soviet-era plunder from when we won the Cold War. Congratulations. On the bright side, if you're drinking microscopic lead chippings, you can always sue the university. Sure, your $50 million settlement will deprive the next generation of research funding, but hey, you'll have finally found a way to strike it rich as an academic.

PS. Oh the sacrifices I make for you, my readers! ... I endured a string of weird looks from undergrads who simply could not fathom why one of their superiors would need to document the library's water fountain with a camera phone.

View from the Ivory Tower: Wheels 1

Every academic needs an idealized photo of a one-speed, backpeddle-breaks bicycle in their lives. But if you were to look closely (which you can't cause the resolution on my camera phone is sadly limited), you'd realize that the cruiser (like most things in life) is not that ideal: the basket is breaking from overuse and the chain, hubs, etc. are rusty because they have been neglected by their owner.

Thesis Progress: In celebration of my Chpater 3 victory, I'm going to bed early!