The Intrepid Journey to an Exotic, New Starbucks

As I promised yesterday, here is the true account of my coffee shop adventure:

There’s a Starbucks on the campus drag that gives 180 degree views of the hippies, hipsters and tourists. I normally never go to this one cause there's no parking. But in the name of anonymity, I hopped on my beach cruiser and placed my laptop in the basket.

The day was glorious, the sky was [insert your weather pattern here], and the students were back from spring break, clogging up the campus. The Veterans Against Iraq were setting up a table, but had to compete for attention with both the annual photo display of aborted fetuses and a counter-protesting wall of Planned Parenthood-ers. Presenting a united front against 10-foot tall dead babies, they chanted something that sounded like, “wieners for choice!” and handed out free rainbow condoms. I’m not writing this blog to make a political stance, but free is free and I’m unemployed (errr full-time student). I was able to take two condoms and toss them in my basket without getting off my bike or even slowing down.

Soon the campus proper gave way to the campus drag, and green-clad students gave way to green-clad revelers doing a 1pm St. Paddy's bar crawl.

The ghosts of the hippie movement still haunt the drag, but exist nowhere else in town. It's as if they were to leave the street they’d evaporate into the fine mist of history. Seeing my approach two such ghosts dug a box out of their belongings and set it out just for my (OK their) benefit. Now, I’m not writing this blog to make a political commentary on begging (these particular drag rats could easily have been two freshman on a break between classes), but I was feeling generous. So without getting off my bike or even slowing down, I reached into my basket and tossed them a Planned Parenthood rainbow condom. If this was a movie, it would have landed in their begging box, but they yelled, “thanks” anyway. Come to think of it, they looked like two straight dudes, so they probably won’t be able to share. I was a jerk not to give both away.

Once at my destination, I watched the whole green-tinted tableau from inside the safety of glass. Among other wonders, I saw one leprechaun, several kilted men, girls dangling green boas, and a plain clothes cop in wearing a muted green dress suit. He bought a small coffee. Other than that, one Starbucks is identical to any other, so my adventure ended once I walked inside.